The truth about rage, apathy and sadness during Perimenopause

When Your Emotions Don’t Feel Like “You” Anymore: The Big Three of Perimenopause Mood Changes

(Part 3 of The Mind of Perimenopause Series)

Perimenopause does not just shift your moods, it actually changes how your brain process emotion, motivation, willpower and stress.

That is why you feel unpredictable, often even to yourself.

Out of all the changes happening during this transition, there’s one category we don’t talk about nearly enough: the emotional changes.

Over 70% of women report mood swings, irritability, sadness, or feeling “unlike themselves.” Yet mental health still carries more shame and silence than hot flashes or weight gain.

So let’s name the truth and break down The Big Three that so many of us experience:

• Rage / irritability:This one gets misunderstood the most. It’s often labeled as “irrational” or “overreacting,” but rage in perimenopause isn’t random.

  It’s the result of cortisol intolerance, your stress system being stretched too thin, combined with overstimulation and over-responsibility.

  By this age, most women are carrying a lot:

  Teenagers navigating independence, aging parents needing care, demanding careers, constant multitasking, and the unspoken pressure to “keep it all together.”

  That sudden explosion? It’s not one thing.

  It’s the 110 things you’ve been holding, and your body finally saying, “enough.”

  Your system is overstressed and under-supported.

• Apathy / Low mood: Let’s clear something up: apathy is not laziness.

  It’s not that you don’t care... it’s that your brain chemistry is running on empty.

  This happens when dopamine, your motivation and reward chemical, drops. The things that once sparked joy or drive just… don’t anymore.

  Your brain isn’t broken. It’s protecting you.

  It’s saying: “I don’t have enough fuel for this right now.”

  You’re not lazy. You’re depleted.

• Sadness: This is part of the recalibration too.

  Sometimes we just need a somatic emotional detox.

  Your body uses tears as a release valve for stress. It’s how the nervous system get rids of what words sometimes can’t.

  You’re not “too emotional.” This is simply emotional release. Your body is trying to detox emotions, stress through your nervous system... let it!

These are all physiological events. So when you respond with the right nutrition, rest, movement, journal prompts, or a good coaching session instead of shame or suppressing those feelings, they move through you instead of coming back on repeat.

Because here's the truth about this season; your body body isn't agains you (although it often feels that way), it's asking for support, love, care and a ton of grace.

When you start listening... everything softens, I promise.

With love & grace

Karin 🤍